Rest aside

I dreamt and wished that I might
not have lived what I did that night.

When it all seems too true
only to wake and dawn that
what had made me so happy
is gone -
I bear it less well than when
something sad comes out of nothing.

You cannot wish for something
that you know nothing about
or miss something that never has been
and so, yes, I would rather,
sometimes, be ignorant of a beating heart
than feel it crush under steel cage ribs
and knowing brain.

If I could my dreams rest aside
and slip through thoughtless sleep,
I would learn to love those night time hours

not quite, not yet.